My Exodus Beginning...

"We loathe ourselves for living and lying every day in little ways that devalue and dishonor us. When was the last time you started off a conversation with " I'm sorry" when you weren't?

There comes a point in life..in mine anyway...where enough is enough. Everything around me looks impossible..what do I do..I am in an unhealthy relationship that has dragged me to the bottom-along with my children. I turned to God for years and still things stayed the same. No, in my deepest part of my heart I know it is not God's fault. I believe He wants ME to do something. Not the same old patterns I've done before BUT new ones. HOW? I've got two children to support with no skills to make enough money to support us? Join me on my journey for FREEDOM. We'll leave him in God's hands.

I am/have/can take responsibility for what is mine-I will no longer take responsibility for what's not..I want to enjoy what is left of my life..

This last week my first granddaughter was born Karalina Bleau Ann Scott...I want to enjoy her and her brother--Reed. I want to make friends and laugh..I want to make good and healthy choices w/o worry someone else is making his own choices sabotaging any and all happiness and our expense...I want to find work that I LOVE..that I will grow and learn from..I want to get FIT and FABOULOUS. AFTER ALL I AM 40:) Why waste anymore time?

I'm going to set goals for myself...I want my children to see people and things can change..

I'm not sorry anymore...I'm done with saying sorry and hearing excuses and believing them hoping this time will be better so I can have the family, security, and dreams I've dreamed about since I was a little girl.

I have been exercising FINALLY! this last month. Dr. V doubled my Remicade which has helped so far. I feel good. My symptoms are not 100% gone though. My sisters and I are going to run our first 5K on May 9th. We are training now. I will post pictures of them:)

Graci has her third gymnastics meet February 15. I am excited and nervous for her. I am amazed at how fit these girls are. Mommy is praying for your full turns...You'll always be my ROCKSTAR!!

I have found Tosca Reno and she has been my inspiration for the last couple of weeks. I have changed my eating this last week to eating clean. I think I have lost a little with the combination of exercising I've been doing due to how my clothes fit. I haven't weighted yet. Don't think I want to torture myself yet. I am also doing Tony Horton's P90X program. I am picking and choosing from it until I am stronger. I am working with Grace on eating clean also explaining how it would help her gymnastics AND also establish a firm foundation for health her whole life. I better go. I am also going to try and write something on my blog at least five days a week. It will be good therepy for me just writing out my feelings.

My hair is in a towel and probly dry by now:) LOL! I just crack myself up re-reading what I wrote.. I'm really not crazy:) Just a wounded warrior of a woman trying to understand "ME" After a bit of writing on here I'm sure I will get into a rhythm and find my niche..Of this I am confident:)